A new or recurrent diagnosis of cancer can have an impact on your life like no other news you have received before. Coping with the emotional and physical effects that a cancer diagnosis can have on your life may be very difficult at times. It can feel overwhelming as a person begins to process the quantity of information – treatment options, news, decisions, suggestions, and opinions – all of which come flooding in. To call this upheaval “stressful” would be a great understatement.
Coping with stress comes easily for some; others have a more difficult time. We are all different and so are the ways we seek and find help. There are no “right” coping strategies – there is only what works for you. Some cancer patients may find the following list helpful:
- A Method for Effective Coping
- Confront each problem directly
- Look at the situation as a problem to be solved
- Insist on complete information
- Expect positive change
- Be flexible; take things as they come
- Divide major decisions into smaller parts
- Look for resources to help
- Create an “action plan”
- Seek support
Support Groups
There are many support groups available for both patients and caregivers at North Star Lodge. Some find family, friends, co-workers or church members provide adequate support, both during and after treatment. Others like to interact with other current and former cancer patients. Still others seek more formal and organized support groups. All types of support are available, and as the patient, you get to decide what’s right for you. Whether individuals or groups, patients or professionals, organized groups or online chats, whatever type of support that best suits your needs is available in our community. You might like to begin your investigation by looking into support groups available through North Star Lodge.
UNDERSTANDING YOUR FEELINGS
How should you feel after a diagnosis of cancer? The truth is whatever you’re feeling right now is the right way for you to feel. This is your disease. Patients report a variety of feelings initially upon learning of the diagnosis, and those feelings ebb and flow, changing during treatment and beyond therapy.
Stress, fear or grief can all make our feelings seem more intense. Some people just don’t feel like “themselves”. Others report crying more easily, having a difficult time concentrating, or being more irritable. A decreased appetite, decreased desire to do things, or decreased sexual drive are not uncommon.
ANXIETY
Anxiety is a normal response to stress, but too much anxiety can interfere with daily living. Some signs of anxiety include difficulty thinking or solving problems, increased muscle tension, trembling or shaking, headache, cold hands, rapid breathing, insomnia, decreased or increased appetite.
You might try relieving tension with physical activity like walking or gardening. Take some time to talk to an understanding friend. Getting plenty of sleep and eating a balanced diet can help lesson the physical effects of anxiety. Develop a realistic, positive attitude.
DEPRESSION
Some cancer patients experience depression. Feeling sad about your diagnosis is a normal response. Supportive concern from friends and family has shown to help most people through the first feelings of depression. Feeling sad, sleepless, or having a decreased appetite are all signs of depression. People may also experience a loss of energy, fatigue, changes in eating habits, or a decreased interest in doing anything.
Depression becomes a major concern when depression evolves into more desperate feelings, such as helplessness, worthlessness, guilt, loss of self esteem or suicidal thoughts. If you have any of these symptoms or cannot eat or sleep and feel uninterested in daily life for several days, call your doctor. Your doctor may want to investigate medicines or therapies to help manage these symptoms.
COPING STRATEGIES
Coping with one’s daily existence can feel more difficult when a person is overly anxious, fearful or depressed. The way a person copes with overwhelming feelings is very individualized. There is no right or wrong way to cope.
- RELAX – Consciously un-tense muscles, breathe slowly and regularly, sit down, lie down or walk around. Other methods of relaxing include taking a warm bath or listening to quiet music.
- THINK – Prioritize your concerns, write them down, and decide if you need to deal with them right now. Remember what you have done in the past to solve a problem. List two or more possible solutions and decide how you will deal with the problem. Write it down.
- ACT – Talk to someone who can help you with the problem, gather information, find support, make a plan, change when you can that is causing the problem. Be flexible, take on one issue at a time, and expect positive change.
HOPE
Hope is a vital part of cancer treatment. It is a way to focus one’s energy on the most positive outcome and anticipate positive responses. It motivates us to keep going, to believe in any possibility. Hope is empowering – it keeps us looking positively toward the future. Hope allows us to believe in ourselves and rely on something outside of ourselves.
There are many ways to foster hope, including:
- Meeting and becoming aware of what other cancer patients do to keep going
- Keeping your social contacts and meeting with support people with whom you enjoy talking
- Paying attention to recovery statistics, which are constantly improving for many cancers
- Being optimistic about your future
- Acting in Hopeful and Hope-filled ways
SPIRITUALITY
A person’s spirituality can be an important self-healing resource we all tap into during our life journey. Many patients find their treatments can be an opportunity to explore and develop the therapeutic tool of spirituality.
Spirituality has been described as a “central vitality” – a nonphysical force that gives meaning and integrity to life. It is felt as a deep feeling of wellbeing, of joy, satisfaction and happiness. Spirituality can be expressed in religious beliefs, or anything that provides transcendent meaning to our lives: beautiful art or music, an important cause, principles, values we hold dear. The sound or smell of the ocean or quiet time in a forest can bring a feeling of spirituality. Time spent with people we love is a wonderful spiritual experience, enlightening our lives with meaning and joy.
We can care for our spiritual selves by fostering spiritual practices in our everyday lives. Some suggestions for doing this are: reading inspirational books, writings, or poetry; listening to music that has meaning for you; experiencing things you find beautiful, such as art, literature or nature. Find a favorite spot outdoors and just allow yourself to breathe in the beauty of the moment. Reflect on joyful memories.
Meditation, contemplation or prayer can provide serenity and connect us with our spiritual selves, as can religious practices such as attending church or worship services. Allow yourself the freedom to explore your spiritual self in whatever comfortable, gentle way feel right for you.
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